August 26,
2012 was when the downhill slide began.
“Hey Edaline!” Maccyn shouted.
“Hey! Whose Cubcat time are you in?”
Our high school’s weird and calls our homeroom time, Cubcat time.
“Mr. Fineburg’s,” she said making a
very prominent frowning face.
“Oh my god! Me too!”
“Yay! Did Jerrick take you home last
night? I left pretty early.”
“Yeah, then we had a fight. He was
all drunk and stuff. I don’t think it’ll last much longer. Did you hear from
Jacoby?”
“No, but I bet I will. His birthday
party is in a couple weeks. Should we crash it?” I said with a sly smile on my
face. Jacoby was my on and off boyfriend for all of high school and he was
turning 20 in a couple of weeks. Though we were not technically together at
this moment I still wanted to show up at that party.
We proceeded into our Cubcat time
and sat down with a plump in our chairs.
***
The first week of school went by in
a flash considering we only had two days. As the weekend approached so did the
discussion of how the weekend would go and what parties we would attend.
“I really would like to go to the
first game. What is the theme? Togas?” said Annabeth.
“Yeah I think it is, let’s go to the
game then out to Malster’s pre 20th party.” said Maccyn.
“Why? So, we can all get drunk and
then once again I get back together with him?” I said
“No. So, he can see how awesome you
are doing without him. Besides I doubt you will even see him. It’ll be packed.”
said Annabeth.
Jacoby
and I did not need to get back together again it was time for us to part ways.
And we both know that us seeing each other will lead to this. I have had enough
of him. “Fine. Meet at my house at 6 to get ready?”
“Sounds good!” both the girls said
in unison.
I really was not up to going to
Jacoby’s party. He’s been texting me consistently the last few days and to the
best of my ability I was ignoring him, going out there would just end badly. Just like last time. But, maybe Annabeth and
Maccyn are right, maybe him seeing me looking super sexy would make him realize
how much he missed me and then maybe he would change. For once.
***
Upon Annabeth’s arrival at my house, Maccyn was styling my
long brown hair up into a twisted pony. “Do you guys really think I look okay?”
I asked
“Of course you do! Now after the game we can just take off
the sheets and head out to Jacoby’s” said Annabeth.
I was dressed in my black skinny jeans that fit every curve
of my legs perfectly, my shirt was a very loose bright pink v neck that plunged
to my belly button, under that I had a black sparkle tank top. I looked
perfect. For once.
“Okay good. I really want to make his jaw drop when I walk
in.”
“Are you almost ready!?”
Maccyn said while looking at her phone to check the time.
“Yeah, let me just pack my purse”
“Don’t forget your fake ID!” they said in unison.
I always do seem to forget that. I found out my hot pink
crossbody purse, that was as big as a tote bag and began to fill it with my
foundation, powder, lip gloss, mascara (both regular and waterproof), and eye
liner, just in case my night took a turn for the worse then at least I can
cover the bruises that exist from the last night that took a turn for the
worse... I also decided to sneak some tissues, a flashlight and an extra shirt
in the bottom of my bag just in case. I then threw in $20 and left my card in
my change mug that way when that money is gone it’s gone. Maccyn coughed. “I’m
almost ready!” I said. I threw in my cell phone, Ipod, a change of shoes, my
flask, driver’s license, my fake ID for buying alcohol, and my car keys even
though I was not driving. I zipped it up quickly and ran out of my room not
realizing that Maccyn and Annabeth were already in my kitchen waiting on me.
“Okay, I’m ready. Bye Mom! I’ll let you know when I’m on my
way home” I shouted
“Thanks hun” she replied
As we jumped into Annabell’s truck I grabbed the USB cord
for the stereo and cranked up the music to the LMFAO song “Sexy and I Know It”.
We arrived at the game and participated in all the usual chants and activities
that our school held during football games.
“Hey! I said do you want food?!” Maccyn shouted at me.
“Yeah, grab me Snickers.”
“Finally you answer me! I only asked you like ten times!
What is the matter with you?”
“Nothing, I was….just enjoying the band.”
“Nothing, I was….just enjoying the band.”
Maccyn and Annabell laughed at me. They knew something was
wrong but they didn’t want to ask, because they didn’t want to ruin the night.
That is what I was worried about: ruining the night.
As the game came to an end. We made our way back to Annabeth’s
truck to remove our ‘togas’ and head out to Jacoby’s party. I threw off my flip
flops and pulled out the boots I knew would complete this outfit perfectly.
“Let’s stop and get gas and some Dew. They should have
plenty of alcohol out there” Annabell said.
While looking at my phone I responded “Or maybe we could go
to Jerrick’s party..?”
“Why? Did he text you?” Maccyn said
“No, but I’m sure he is having a party he always does on
Friday nights.”
“Okay, really why do you not want to go to Jacoby’s?” said
Annabeth
“Because we all know how it’s going to end up.”
“No we all don’t so please share”
“It’s going to end up with me seeing him with another girl
and leaving the party, leaving me to have to walk home.”
“I promise if he is there with some other girl I will bring
you home before I start drinking. But, I am positive that he is not with someone
else. I am positive that he will see you looking fab and you two will get back
together” Looking at me with a sly grin
“Is that really what needs to happen?”
“Why, shouldn’t it? Everyone knows how cute you two look
together!” Maccyn said
“Cute does not make up for everything else…”
“Everything else?”
Maccyn said looking quite confused.
“Nothing….nothing else…”
“Alright? But if there is something else you know we are
here for you” Annabeth said
So, that was that and we headed out to Jacoby’s party.
After a short half an hour in the car we arrived at Jacoby’s
house to find the driveway and the street lined with cars, bumper to bumper. Yeah, this is totally not obvious. All these
cars are totally not going to attract any attention whatsoever. I grabbed
my purse just in case it would be needed. Slowly I got out of Annabell’s truck
and made my way into Jacoby’s house. I was terrified of what I knew was to
come.
“Hey ladies!” said Declan
“Hey!” we replied.
“Long time no see” said Claire
“You guys look cute tonight!” Alice said as the four of us
snapped a quick picture
The farther into the house we made it the more of his
friends I saw, but I didn’t see him.
“Hey Aiden!” I said losing track of where Maccyn and
Annabeth went.
“Hey Edaline! Didn’t expect to see you here? You guys
together?”
Smiling I said “No, just decided to come crash it” Aiden and
Jacoby never really got along. Aiden has had a crush on me since before pre-k
but Jacoby was always the one to steal my heart, but maybe not this time. “What
are you doing here?”
“Oh you know free beer” Holding up his drink
Laughing “Yeah, I
better go find myself some of that”
“I’ll join you.”
“Okay.” I knew he was following me just in case I ran into
Jacoby. He was always the guy to save me from the drama. I just hoped this
meant that he hadn’t already seen him with some other girl.
Aiden and I made our way into the kitchen to find all sorts
of alcohol. Jacoby’s mom always purchased tons of it for these parties. I
grabbed a Mike’s and we headed outside.
“It’s so nice out tonight” I said leaning against the edge
of the deck.
“I love coming out here it is always so clear” he said
looking up at the sky.
“Yeah, that is one thing I miss, being able to just lay and
stare at the sky” As I began to look at the sky my eyes meet his, and he
proceeded to make his way to us. Great,
now here comes the moment where I get yelled at for showing up to this party
uninvited and for not answering his slew of texts from the past weeks. I look
frantically around for Maccyn and Annabeth or some kind of escape route. I take
a couple steps down the stairs heading towards another crowd. Then I hear it. I
heard his sweet voice say my name and in that very instant Aiden vanished like
a ghost.
“Edaline?” Jacoby said
Turning around I replied “Yeah?”
“I didn’t expect to see you here” He comes bounding toward
me like a cat to his prey.
“Me either. Annabeth and Maccyn wanted to come. I just
tagged along.” I said checking my phone and taking the slightest step
backwards.
“Well good. Then we can talk. Since you won’t answer my
texts” Jacoby moves aggressively closer to me.
I won’t answer your texts for a
reason. I am over you. Done. I thought while taking a step backwards. “I didn’t know you
texted me,” looking at my phone, “I guess my phone didn’t receive them.”
“Oh.” He looked at his phone to make sure he actually sent them,
“well, before you leave can we talk?”
“Yeah, of course.” Oh god this was not going to end the way
I planned but it was going the way I hoped...I think.
“Good,” he said smiling, grabbing my hand forcefully, he
really didn’t give me the choice. I had to come with him. “Well let’s go enjoy
this party!”
I went with him not knowing what to think or how to feel. I
should be done with our yo-yo dating and his…comments about me..his actions
when things don’t go his way. It was not fun for me. But, a part of me did not
want to be done with it. A part of me didn’t want to be done with him. A part
of me wants to hope that this time he has “changed”.
The rest of the night was a blast, more fun than I can
remember any of his parties being. We all stood around the beer pong table
taking turns playing. Jacoby and I were kicked out of playing, because we
always won, and we enjoyed winning, together. The end of the night came far too
soon and as Maccyn and Annabeth told me they were ready to leave I was toying
with the idea of staying, but I did not know if Jacoby would want me to. All
night we had acted like we always did when we were together in public, laughing
and joking and just having fun in each other’s company.
I met eyes with Jacoby and he whispered to me, his breath
smelling of beer and cigarette smoke “Why don’t you stay. We haven’t had a
chance to talk yet.” So, that was that. I was staying, because he was drunk and
I didn’t want drama.
Walking over to Annabeth and Maccyn, I told them I was going
to stay here tonight blaming it on the fact that I was far too drunk to go
home. As smiles crossed their faces they both knew this was a lie. But, neither
of them were going to argue with me. Of course they wanted us to be back
together. Neither of them knew how bad we actually are together. All they knew
is they get free alcohol. I turned around to go back to Jacoby’s side and met
eyes with Aiden who had overheard everything, he even know how big of a lie I
had just told. I was not even tipsy.
This night had not gone how I thought it would go, and it
definitely did not end the way I expected either. It ended even worse than it
should have.
***
When I walked through the door later that next morning, I
saw my mom lying on the couch as a rush of guilt washed over me I realized I
forgot to tell her that I was not coming home. She woke up the minute I closed
the door.
“So, where did you end up staying last night?”
“Jacoby’s”
A look like she had just eaten a lemon washed over her face
“So, you guys are back together again?”
“No, I just went with Maccyn and Annabeth to his party,”
looking at the TV,
“they had drank quite a bit so we all decided to stay there.”
“they had drank quite a bit so we all decided to stay there.”
“How hung over are you?”
“Not at all, I didn’t drink” that was the worst lie ever she
knew I drank with Jacoby.
“Well, I hope that you don’t get back together with that
trouble maker. He is not good for you. You need to go to college and do
something with your life. He is…”
I’d heard this speech to many times to count. Cutting her
off “...yes mom I know. I am going back to my room to do some homework.”
When I got back to my room I removed all the items from my
purse that I realized I didn’t need last night. Unfortunately something else
had happened. Burying my face in my pillow I laid there and cried. I should
really figure out what I want in life. My mom was right I needed to let this
trouble maker go and do something with my life.
***
Over the next few weeks I heard nothing from Jacoby and as
homecoming was rolling around I was asked by Aiden. I accepted the invite. My
mom was more than excited that I was going with him and not ‘the boy that no
longer needed a name in our household’.
Why don’t you call into work
tonight. Let’s take off and go to Seattle and find you a dress for homecoming. My mom texted me.
I have never been a fan of texting so I called her to decide
whether it was truly a good idea for me to really take off of work to find a
dress.
“Hello.” Mom answered
“Hey! Do you really think I should call in?”
“Well, you work all weekend and then the following weekend
is homecoming. If you want to not see yourself walking by we should probably go
to Seattle tonight.”
“What should I tell Savita?”
“Tell her your Grandfather is not doing well again, and your
parents are going to Seattle to see him and you want to go with. You will be
out of town no one will know the truth.”
“Okay. I’ll see you at home in an hour?”
“Yes. Love you hunny.”
“Yes. Love you hunny.”
With a click of the phone I hung up. I then called my boss,
she questioned the excuse a bit but unable to tell me that I couldn’t go see my
“sick grandfather” she let the excuse go.
A long two hours later we arrived in Seattle and proceeded
to our favorite mall, Westlake Center. We found ourselves in Younkers looking
at a beautiful silver pleaded fitted dress. It fit me perfectly, in all the
right places.
“You look gorgeous.” Mom said with tears in her eyes
***
As the day of homecoming approached I started not feeling
like myself. I was feeling very sick early in the morning and started eating a
ton of food. I blamed it on all the stress I thought I was enduring but in the
back of my mind my worst fear was haunting me. I decided to go to lunch with
Annabeth the day before to finalize plans for homecoming night and talk to her
about my fear.
“I think we need to get a test” she said, “and you should
have told me sooner. I thought you were mad at me whenever you said you were
“busy” and couldn’t go drink with us”
“I am sorry. I was not sure what to think or who to talk to.
But what if I am just dramatizing? My mind is playing tricks on me it does that
a lot.”
“You are late we are getting a test tomorrow night after the
dance”
“Better be after Aiden drops me off at your house. We will
change and everything there. Mom wants pictures at the park and she will cook
dinner.”
“Of course, just tell him you are staying with me. I’ll take
you home afterwards”
***
The day had finally arrived. Homecoming was here. That
morning I went to get my hair and makeup done. Then took my dress over to
Annabeth’s where I would get ready.
“Can you zip me please?”
“Yeah...was this zipper always this tight?!” she said
“....No...”
“Good thing we will find out the truth tonight.”
That uneasy feeling filled my gut and I pushed it back down
calling myself crazy... I brushed all feelings to the side and went on to have
the best night of my life; knowing it would probably be the last. As Aiden
dropped me back off at Annabeth’s we said our goodnights and I went in to
figure out what was really going on with me.
“I have a test,” she said “now go take it”
I dilly dallied around a bit not wanting to know the
results, but at the same time I did. A few minutes later I emerged. With tears
in my eyes I looked at Annabeth and exclaimed “It’s positive!” She gave me the
biggest hug squeezing me until I felt like I was going to hurl and told me
everything was going to be okay, but I really couldn't see how. I couldn’t wrap
my mind around the fact that I was now 17 and pregnant.
After I got through the initial shock I decided to call
Jacoby who I haven’t heard from since the night of the party. I really wanted
nothing to do with him anymore but I guess he has the right to know. I had
decided in my mind that we were toxic, but now I guess I have to deal with
him….
“Hi, uh Jacoby?”
“Can I help you” Very rudely he exclaimed
Breaking down in tears I cried “I’m pregnant”
“So, what are the chances it’s mine?”
“Considering you the only person I have ever been with. It’s
yours.” I cried. How could he say something like this to me?!...but really it
was not that big of a surprise.
And then just like that he hung up. Hung up the phone. I
slowly pulled my phone away from my ear. As the tears welled up in my eyes I
just sat there, staring at it.
“Edaline? Hey, hun?” she magically appeared beside me with
her arms around my shoulders.
“Yeah?” I said
“Are you okay?”
Seriously what kind of question is
this? Are you okay? Well, of course I am not okay. I am pregnant my ass hole
exboyfriend does not care about me and now I am just a disappointment to my
family. My family. How am I going to tell my mom?! Oh. God. I held my tongue this time. Which
honestly was not hard, I did thing only thing I could in this moment, because
words just are not working for me. I laid into Annabeth’s shoulders and I
cried, huge tears, I sobbed.
Annabeth took me home. As I walk into the house I could
barely look my mother in the eyes. I went straight back into my room and began
posting the pictures from the night. The last high school dance I will ever
attend. Because I was pregnant.
My mind began flowing with thoughts. How could I have let this happen? He was drunk that night not me. I
should have been more responsible. Why? Why? Why? I can’t tell my mom. I can’t
hurt her like this. I know I will be doing it alone. Jacoby will never grow up.
I should have been done with him years ago. And how could he hang up on me like
that? He doesn’t care about me. He never did.