Dating and single parenthood

It is no secret that dating as a single mother is hard. Especially when she has her child 24/7. Tomorrow marks a month. It has now been a month since Eugene and I broke up. Not only does it mark a month, it marks a year and a half that we would have been together. This date is bittersweet. The break up had to happen, neither one of us were happy in the relationship, but I think the hardest part of all of this is not how I am taking it. It is how my son is. 

When a man comes into a life of a single mother and stays for a large amount of time. When he becomes invested in the family structure and the routine of everyday life. That man takes in the role of daddy. It is a fact of life. If he is not comfortable with that role he shouldn't become involved and invested. Because when that relationship falls apart it is worse for the child. I don't know how many times I have been asked "when is daddy coming home?" How do I answer this? I have just been saying that "he's on a trip" I can't find it within myself to bash someone that simply 'changed his mind.' Am I wrong for this?  

Don't get me wrong. I am angry, very angry. That he can walk away with no repercussions. No feelings. No feeling of loss. He just walks away, sorry for nothing. He walks away empty handed while I am left once again to pick up the pieces. Is this what being a single mom is all about? Constantly picking up the pieces? I want to say no, but at this point letting someone else into my son's life seems far fetched without a wedding date made..I can't break his heart like that again.  It is not fair for a two year old.  

But what makes me every more upset is he was in the life of this little boy for a year and five months. He held him when he was sick, watched him strive, and grow. He allowed him to call him Daddy. How can he just walk away? I think my little boy is incredible, maybe I'm biased. Maybe I am the shallow one thinking that this isn't hurting him at all. Maybe he does look at the pictures of my wonderful son and cry. But if he does, why doesn't he do anything about it? This is what leads me to think he doesn't care. 

So a tip for all guys out there that are thinking about dating a single mother, or are getting to the point where you are meeting her child(ren): Dont. Unless you are 250% positive that you are ready to become a father or take on a family role. If you have any questions about anything DO NOT get involved. Share your concerns with her, she will understand. But don't make the children suffer because you are not sure if you are ready to settle down. 

Women are not toys to be played with. This goes for single mom or the party girl you met last night. We have feelings. We think into things, and overreact. We are filled with drama, and cry for no reason. But we can love and care about you more than you ever thought possible. As for the single mom population. We know rejection. We know how to work hard, and we know how to love hard. Do not take advantage of that. We can be the best thing that ever happened to you, or your worst night mare. 

Each and every single mother out there is fiercer than a mother bear when it comes to her children. Don't put the children in the middle of your insecurities. :)