Someone New

Something simply magical and a gift from God happened this past memorial day weekend. I found a guy! Yes, that is right a very awesome guy that I have been chatting with for quite some time asked me out on a date, and it was amazing! I was really shocked at how caring, sweet, and adorable he is! Not saying this in a bad way but the majority of the guys that I have accepted dates from since having my son have not made it from that 1st date and well this guy made it to a second and a third and even a relationship of the all mighty facebook! As a single mom this is a big deal for me because the psychological abuse that my ex put me through made me believe that I would never find a guy that would treat me the way I want to be treated, like a princess, and this guy does just that he treats me like royalty and the most shocking of all....he has not tried to get in my pants yet! As a single young mom this is a big thing for me. For once in the past two years I feel like I have actually found someone that has the potential to last a long time. Only time will tell what will happen for now I am still in the first dating gitters but I am so excited that I have someone the respects not only me but my son and my family. :) <3

Freedom Writers

I watched one of my all time favorite movies yesterday, Freedom Writers, but this time my reaction to the movie was very different. For those that don't know the base line of the movie: It's 1994 in Long Beach, California. Idealistic  Erin Gruwell is just starting her first teaching job, that as freshman and sophomore English teacher at Woodrow Wilson High School, which, two years earlier, implemented a voluntary integration program. For many of the existing teachers, the integration has ruined the school, whose previously stellar academic standing has been replaced with many students who will be lucky to graduate or even be literate. Despite choosing the school on purpose because of its integration program, Erin is unprepared for the nature of her classroom, whose students live by generations of strict moral codes of protecting their own at all cost. Many are in gangs and almost all know somebody that has been killed by gang violence. The Latinos hate the Cambodians who hate the blacks and so on. The only person the students hate more is Ms. Gruwell. It isn't until Erin holds an unsanctioned discussion about a recent drive-by shooting death that she fully begins to understand what she's up against. And it isn't until she provides an assignment of writing a daily journal - which will be not graded, and will remain unread by her unless they so choose - that the students begin to open up to her. As Erin tries harder and harder to have resources provided to teach properly (which often results in her needing to pay for them herself through working second and third jobs), she seems to face greater resistance, especially from her colleagues, such as Margaret Campbell, her section head, who lives by regulations and sees such resources as a waste, and Brian Gelford, who will protect his "privileged" position of teaching the senior honors classes at all cost. Erin also finds that her teaching job is placing a strain on her marriage to Scott Casey, a man who seems to have lost his own idealistic way in life. Now seriously if you haven't seen this amazing movie go watch it before reading the rest of this post!

All the other times I have watched this movie I've just had that happy feeling that Erin helped kids that others felt were a waste, because frankly no one is a waste! But this time it hit me very differently. I realized that English is a very touching subject one that many hate but it is the subject that can change lives! Those that keep a journal are said to be more at peace with themselves and less likely to commit any sort of crime, keeping a journal is a type of English subject! It's the creative aspect of English! That is what Erin made her students do, learn that just because they may not have anyone in their life that they can talk to they can write it down with becomes the same sort of escape. The other comparison I made with this movie is the fact that these "Street" kids were thrown under the bus by society and the school system this made me think of how teen parents are treated. They too are thrown under the bus, looked down upon, and have all these unnecessary statistics about them that only lead them to failure. I know many adults that were teen mothers living an AMAZING life not in poverty, they are educated, and though they may not be married to their baby daddy they are married and HAPPY with someone else. The stats about teen parents in  my opinion should be tossed out the window and forgotten about. They are prejudices JUST like the underprivileged teenagers in Freedom Writers. Erin Gruwell inspired me beyond belief yesterday, the sense of union that she brought to those teenagers and the feeling of SUCCESS made me realize that is exactly what I want to do with my life! I want to change the lives of people, make them realize that just because they may be "underprivileged" in the eyes of others they are not and one can succeed at ANYTHING they want as long as they want it bad enough! 

A little bit about me

I am a wonderful single mom to my handsome little boy, not only am I a mom but I am also a college student and I work. Unlike most single women with children that call themselves a single mom I don't receive child support nor does he take him for a weekend. I am around 24/7 there are no breaks. That is what a single mom is all about. I guess you could call his father Missing In Action, I refer to him as a sperm donor. But, without the help of him I never would have gone to attack my dreams. I want to be a writer. I want to change young peoples lives with my story and my life. I am currently a sophomore at my local university at the age of 18. I am on track to graduate my undergraduate program at the age of 20 and will continue to follow my dreams into a graduate and PhD programs. But, this road has not been easy nor will it get any easier. Being a single mom is quite lonely. My ex was abusive, he distanced me from my friends, made me feel useless, and left. He did all this damage and walked away. Now, I am stuck in an 18 year olds body not knowing how to make friends, who to trust, or frankly how to move on with life. My ex, who we will refer to as SD for sperm donor, set doubt in my mind, doubt that there is anyone out there that will ever be a wonderful father to my son, or will love me because I have a kid, in SDs mind I am a slut (his words not mine). That is the point of this blog. Not only in the hopes that others read it and can relate but to document the struggles and hopefully use it in getting my PhD.