Years, Bittersweet, and Twice Loved

Years, Bittersweet, and Twice Loved

Beep Beep Beep

            Edaline rolls over, removes her mess of brown hair from her eyes, to turn off her alarm. Rolling back over, she sees Greyson still fast asleep. She strokes his short, curly, soft, black hair, which reminds her of a kitten. Her hands move to his face where she rubs his scruffy facial hair and her fingers move across his soft lips. He stays fast asleep and she nudges him ever so slightly. He groans as she starts rubbing his back; she whispers sweetly into his ear. “Baby it’s time to get up,” she leans over him, her long brown wavy hair falling on his face, she kisses him. He groans again but throws off the covers so he doesn’t miss his chance in the shower.

            “Morning babe,” Edaline says ever so sweetly.  

***

            Walking into the bathroom Edaline wraps her arms around shirtless Greyson and lays her face on his shoulder kissing his cheek. “Hopefully this job interview today goes well” Edaline says with a sweet smile on her face as she rubs her hands up and down Greyson’s firm arms.

            “Why? So I have the money to buy a ring?!” Greyson snaps.

            “No, so you’re happy again...” she says as she pulls her hands off of Greyson’s arms.

            “I know. I know you don’t like me sitting at home all day while you go and teach adults how to write fiction.”

            “Babe, I never said any of this.” she says as she begins pulling at the strings of her pink silk night shirt.

            “You don’t have to. Your actions do.”

            “Greyson, I love you. I love us.”

            “But you would love us more if you had a fancy rock on your finger.”

            “Greyson...”

            “Edaline, I heard you talking to your friend Audrey. I know,” Greyson storms out of their apartment leaving his phone on the counter of their bathroom. Edaline slides onto the cold, hard tile floor and hides her face in her hands.

***

Edaline makes her way to Cornell University where she teaches Fiction Writing. This morning she meets her colleague Audrey for a cup of coffee. As they walk into their local Starbucks Edaline takes a deep breathe, taking in the wonderful smell of coffee and food. They head towards the long line hoping they don’t have to wait too long. After receiving their coffee they take a seat at ‘their’ table in the farthest corner of the coffee shop. Sitting down at the dimly lit brown table, Audrey sighs twirling a stray stand of red hair around her finger, “So what was his reasoning this time?”

“We are not financially stable,” Edaline says in a mocking tone as she looks past Audrey’s head focusing her gaze on the large coffee maker and the handsome young college man that is making the coffee.

“You won the Pulitzer Prize last year for your book and about to release another. How can you not be financially stable?!”

“Because we are not married. That is ‘my money’. We don’t pool our money. I understand where he is coming from since he has not been able to get on the police force here in Ithaca. I’m just impatient it’s been two years since we started dating. We’ve been living together for a year and a half. I’m tired of split bills, not being able to buy a house, but most of all his complaining about money.” Edaline looks Audrey straight in her bright blue eyes, seeing sympathy she tries not to show her disappointment.

“Your ex doesn’t help anything.”

With a deep sigh Edaline says, “Not at all. I just wish I knew that he was invested in this relationship as much as I am...” Edaline says looking off into the distance and taking a long sip of her Peppermint Mocha. “Well, I have class in twenty minutes. We better get to campus.”

Becoming her usual perky, happy self, Audrey exclaims, “I’ll see you for lunch?!”

“Greyson is picking me up,” Edaline shows her pearly white teeth as she smiles from ear to ear

“Okay, I’ll see you in meeting!” Audrey prances out of the coffee shop. God am I glad she was brought into my life. She always knows how to cheer me up with her over-the-top perkiness. Edaline thinks as she watches Audrey leave, she laughs to herself.  

As Edaline leaves the coffee shop, walking alone, to her office to grab the graded papers for class.  She strolls to class, not in much of a rush, and notices a building that looks much like where she went to school back home. The building reaches to the sky and leans to the right just slightly, making it look older than it really is. It’s dark grey with bricks that appear to be falling out of it. Suddenly she is hit with a horrid stench, she crinkles her nose in dismay, it smells as though something is burning and has been for a while. The building appears to have a rain cloud above it and instantly it starts sprinkling. Looking around she notices students beginning to run to class and laughs. Rain is something that happened back home a lot, and very suddenly. She looks up to the heavens, takes a deep breath and frees herself of the tension of the morning. I’m going to put everything to the side and focus on my students and today. Greyson and our argument can wait. Pulling out her phone she sees that she has seven missed calls and a dozen text messages but, she doesn’t look at any of them, she doesn’t call him back-- she simply turns off her phone. Looking back at the building it looks a bit different now-- the color redder.

Finally getting to her office, she sits back in her black office chair that is far too huge and practically eats her alive. She picks up the papers, checks through to make sure they are all graded, and powers on her MacBook so she can quickly check her email, and post her student’s grades. When she opens up her email, she falls back practically falling backwards in her chair, and covers her face. There sits ten emails. Five from students, two from Greyson, one from her lawyer, one from her mom, and the last one from Jacoby. She closes her eyes with her hands still over her face. How did he find me? Jacoby, Edaline’s boyfriend from high school. Jacoby, the sperm donor of Edaline’s son who is currently living with her parents until she can find a house big enough for the three of them, until Greyson can adopt him and help pay for insurance and all the other things it takes to raise a child. Jacoby held Edaline under his ‘spell’ for 5 years until she met Greyson. Greyson is her savior. He got her out of the horrible situation she was in with Jacoby. After she graduated from Washington State and put out her first book, she and Greyson left to start over, and hide from Jacoby. Her parents agreed to keep her son until they were settled and now a year later they still are not. How embarrassing. Now Jacoby has found her. She opens up the email from her lawyer back home and reads over it carefully.

Ms. Edaline,

I hope all is well at Cornell, unfortunately all is not here. I am writing you to inform you that Jacoby has contacted me on getting a paternity test. I must speak with you and Greyson at once. I think we can hold him back until Greyson adopts but that needs to be done as soon as possible. Please call me at your convenience.

Best,

Nathan

            Throwing her hands on her desk in disbelief, Are you kidding me? It has been 3 years and now suddenly he cares about his son, who he called a mistake and told me to get rid of, while he goes out drinking himself to death and getting more diseases than a wild animal. She looks at the clock realizing she is now five minutes late to class. She rises from her chair and runs off to class.

After class she returns to her office to see that email sitting as the first thing she looks at. Without looking at any of Greyson’s emails, texts, or calls, she calls him.

            “Finally you answer me.”

            “I got an email from Nathan.”

            “Saying…..?”

            “Jacoby is trying again…he wants us to call and talk to him about what we want to do.”

            “Edaline...”

            “I have lived in fear of this guy for YEARS! How do you not understand that!?” I slammed my hand down on my desk, and shook it immediately following.

            “Edaline….”

            “Greyson! I’m going to have to choose between you and my son, and I am pretty sure you know who I’ll choose.”

            “Edaline…”

            “I’m coming home to pack up my things.” I hung up on him. I was not going to do this anymore. I loved Greyson to death my son and his safety comes first.

            “HEY! Congrats!” Startled, I look up to see Audrey popping her perky red bun around the corner of my office door

            I look up at her puzzled.

            “Your book won another award! Isn’t that exciting! You didn’t know?! It’s posted right outside your office!”

            “No, I was late getting to my class this morning.” Great, another accomplishment for me and nothing for Greyson. Another fight to be fought. I picked up my phone noticing a countless number of missed calls from Greyson, instead of dealing with that I called my mom to let her know I needed her help in finding a house.

***

            That night upon arrival home Greyson was already in bed, asleep. I took my time in making my way back to the room, first checking my email, then checking the mail, triple checking the doors and windows to ensure they are locked, putting the one plate into the dishwasher, throwing a load of laundry into the dryer, I looked around one final time realizing there was nothing left in the house; it was spotless. I changed into my silk pajamas, washed my face to take off the days wear on it, brushed my teeth, and finally walked into my bedroom where Greyson was sleeping. The stench of ‘man’ in the room about knocked me over, the stench was overpowering. Slipping into the cold, black covers, I propped myself up on one arm and looked at Greyson. There he laid on his stomach, snoring as loud as a jet engine going over Memorial Stadium on game day. His drool was in the form of an ocean over the black pillow case. His arms were losing tone from lack of working out, the tone of his whole body looked like an old woman’s skin. I rolled over taking a long deep breath and wrapping my long brown hair around my neck, suddenly this place was colder than I remember, suddenly it didn’t feel like home.

***

The next morning Edaline woke before Greyson was even beginning to stir, she dressed in her favorite knee length black dress with a lace back, and her favorite bright pink heels. She made her way to her office in the dark. She spent the day sending out emails for her remaining classes that week, letting her students know they would be canceled. She cleaned up her office, and removed the pictures of Greyson that once covered her office, just the sight of them made her want to cry. She couldn’t believe that it had come down to this. She made sure to keep her phone right by her side just in case Greyson would change his mind, but she did not hear a word from him. Her heart sank lower and lower as the day went on, knowing what would come, knowing that Edaline and Greyson were coming to their end.  She called to make plans with her mom to meet her at the airport in Seattle as soon as possible. Edaline had made up her mind, and this time there was no going back.

***

Edaline walks into her dimly lit apartment preparing to pack her bags and catch the next flight to Seattle. Why are the lights off? Where is Greyson? He should be home. Looking at her newest IPhone, she thinks, He didn’t text me that he would be gone nor did he call me. And then she sees Greyson sitting at their black wooden kitchen table that was covered with a white table cloth, a candle and a vase with a single rose sat in the middle of the table. It was set for two, Greyson had made dinner. He knows I am about to leave, she thinks. Rising from his seat and dressed in his best suit, Greyson hurries to help Edaline with her things and leads her to the table.

            “What is all of this for?!” She, feeling more than annoyed. She sits down on her least favorite chair, the one that squeaks all the time, every time she moves there is another squeak. She’s asked Greyson to do it multiple times, but every time he just blows her off, and that is beginning to annoy her more than anything. The fact that he doesn’t care about her feelings...

            “Celebrating,” Greyson replies with a smile as long as the Texas border.

            “Celebrating what?” she snappes back. Fidgeting in her chair it squeaks again.

            Placing a letter on the table he replies, “The second award on your book!”

            Of course nothing that exciting. I knew that hours ago. “I know. Nothing too exciting.”

            Bringing over Edaline’s favorite meal bacon wrapped filets and fettuccine alfredo along with two glasses of white wine he sets them down on the table. Edaline rises from her chair making in squeak a third time. Goes to the door and takes off the bright pink heels that have been killing her feet all day. I’ll put them on before I leave. Obviously it will take longer than I wanted, but I really don’t want this to be a big blow out fight. Hopefully this is not a deal breaker for him…I just want my son. “It’s exciting to me. I have a very successful beautiful girlfriend.” And that’s all I’ll ever be won't it? Instead of being a debbie downer she picks up her bent silver fork and slowly begins eating. “Are you still mad about the other day?” he asks.

            “Yes, I am.” She slams down her fork. “Greyson I love you to the moon and back and you know that but-”

            He cuts her off, “Let’s talk about this after dinner please? I spent all afternoon preparing this evening. I even made your favorite cheesecake!” He kisses her on her forehead and headed back into the kitchen to grab it. She doesn’t pick her fork back up she just lets it lay there. Staring at the picture of the three of them that is placed on the wall in front of her she remembers how happy they were when they were all three together. Maybe I should have listened to my parents and stayed in Pullman. Everything would have been easier. We could all be together and maybe we would not be at the breaking point we are not…if only I’d listened…hearing Greyson’s loud obnoxious footsteps coming back into the dining room she is pulled from her thoughts and quickly picks up her fork. She doesn’t want him to think she doesn’t like it. Again her chair squeaks. She takes a deep breathe in hopes that it’ll calm her down. She does not want a big fight. She just wants to get Talan. She just wants them to be happy again…

            Greyson brings her a piece of cheesecake and sets it beside her. She continues eating her steak and does not even glance at him. “Edaline?” She glances over at Greyson and the cheesecake, after looking at it multiple times and at him she cups her hands around her mouth and tears well in her eyes. A ring sits on top of the cheesecake and here is Greyson on one knee.